Rebel Rebel

I can't believe it took me this long to realise it: that was exactly what I was looking for. The understanding. The silence. The 'no mention' I had asked for. How could I have missed it? How could I tailor something over two years and completely forgot what I was sewing. I don't believe it. How do I get back there?

If I were to write it again in line with my discovery:

Hey You,

I lost my heart a million times to the sole dream of just talking to you. Everytime I worry or get upset over my past or present issues I remembered the effect you had on me. And I'd imagine sitting beside you and we'd talk. Then I'd go a lil further and be a lil daring. I'd kiss your neck and tell you I love you cus' that is what I want. To love you. I never could fight the desire to love someone as soft and beautiful as you. After all this years, perhaps, what may seemed as an obssession to everyone else but what I understand to be my plain stubbornness, is the reason why I refused to budge. Could you ever stand knowing that the best there is was just beside you? I never could. Obstinate. Whatever it may be. I'd lose my heart over and over again and I'd fall in love over and over again each time I see you. Even if I were with someone else, I'd know she could never come close to you. I never could say it to you. I lost myself somewhere in the past and the possibility of my heart being stamped on is far too scary. I'd die knowing you never wanted to love me. Even if some may beg to differ.. it already hurt me even before I could even try.. I am afraid. I wish you'd figure it out someday. Miracle is the only way. I hope you'd help me.. I'd have loved you with all I've got.

Cheers,
Me.